"Workplace Stress and Aggression” a discussion by M.Azim Ulfati

The stressors employees might experience as a result of the under- performing economy and current retraction of business, and  how almost any leader or manager could help 

mitigate those stressors. 

 

 There are many factors and causes that lead people to stress

Stress is the feeling of a person’s body in a way that reacts to any kinds of demands. There are many causes that affect a person’s body, it can be good or bad experience and there are many different types of stress that human face at home in the workplace or environment and I would like to discuss about them a bit.

There are several things that can cause stress and some lead to conflicts for instance physical cause, I would say that fear of some thing dangerous or emotional like worry about family or work.

When a person faces with stress, it is very important to find out the cause of the stress first in order to find ways to deal with it. There can be so many sources for these stresses and I would like to mention few of them here.

Survival Stress– This one can be used when a person feel or face with a danger of human or animal. As soon as a person scares of some thing and feel that he is threaten to death or physically he will be killed or hurt by an external factor, then the body naturally reacts to the threat or danger with the abilities that have in his body in order to survive. The body fights or finds a solutions way to get rid of that threat or danger. This can be called survival stress.

Environmental Stress– This stress causes from the environmental phenomena that happens around us, like noise, bullying, long distance commute in heavy traffic, crowding, no work, work and family pressure.

Fatigue and Overwork- Fatigue and overwork is caused by long hours of work, work load, downsizing, career developing, transferring, failure to promote or advance to higher position at work or home and as well as not knowing how to well manage time and keep enough time for rest, relaxation and other hobbies.

Relationship stress

Bouts of relationship and family stress are almost inevitable. Financial concerns, work pressures, time pressures, and housework and sex life cause relationship stress.  Stresses from outside the home can impact on relationships inside of it.

 It is important for every one to understand and to well fight with stress otherwise it would affect both body and mind.

If a person is affected by stress then he/she gets tired, sick, lose life and unable to focus and think logically and clearly and some times it may lead you to suffer mental breakdowns.

There are many ways to reduce, prevent and cope with stress. It may be difficult and impossible to stop relationship stress, fatigue and work stress, environmental and survival stress but there is nothing to be impossible. If you think deeply you have more control than you think and you are in control of your life. All you need is to take charge of your thoughts, emotions, schedule and the way you deal with problems. Identify the cause and sources of stress first; look at your habits, attitudes and excuses. Learn how to say no in certain situations, avoid people who stress you out, take control of your environment, avoid hot button topics, pare down your to do list, don’t keep your feelings, express them, be willing to compromise, be very assertive, manage your time, look at the big picture, focus on the positive points, share your feelings, learn to forgive, don’t try to control things that are not controllable. Spend your time with friends, call them and go for a walk, listen to music, watch songs, movies, tv shows, comedy, help others who need help. There are many more ways to manage and reduce stress.

I would like to say the story of a friend of mine who used to be in a relationship for like a year and was severely suffering from the relationship stress.

I had an old colleague who met a girl one day in a bar and started dating with her for a while. The girl used to be a student at one of the colleges in the USA and the boy used to work in construction projects and some times used to work in restaurants. The girl was a Jew and the boy was Muslim. These two got acquainted with each other within few weeks and they were very happy for few months. The girl fell in love and started to love the boy. The boy was laid off from work after few months of dating and he faced with financial problems. The boy looked to find a job within that state for few months but could not find any jobs and finally he decided to join the US Army. He spoke with his girlfriend that he would join the US Army due to financial problems, he joined the US Army and he had to go through trainings to be a solider and was a way from home and girlfriend for a while but the girl thought that the boy lies and he wants to break up. A gap of distrust created here. She told her boyfriend that she is pregnant. The boy was facing on one hand with financial problem and on the other hand when he heard that his girlfriend is pregnant. He passed out.

My colleague trusted me so much and I was the only one that he used to disclose his relationship stories with. He called me and told me the entire story so just in case if any thing would happen to him I should be a ware of to tell his family.

 He told me that he does not like the girl and is not interested and he is too young to have a baby and on the other hand he told me that his girlfriend is not Muslim and he had never thought about this when he started dating. He said that now if my family finds out my parents will never agree with this and would kick me out forever from the family and would never let me to see them and be part of that family. He said that he would be embarrassed among all of his Muslim brothers and sisters, relatives and friends for having a baby from none Muslim girl.

Any way the boy was not happy with the baby and his girl friend and he was asking his girlfriend for abortion but the girl was asking money for abortion. He got loans from friends and sent to the girl to get rid of the baby but the girl was saying lies to the boy. She told that she did abortion but it may be infected because she does not have money to get medicine. After a month she calls her boy friend and says that the abortion did not work because it was infected for the lack of medicine. The boy started suffering all day and was not able to do his training. He was kicked out from the training and I think that he found a kind of mental problem within few months of suffering this relationship.

The girl was never a pregnant. She was trying to have the boy back with her because she was madly in love with him. The girl was never able to have the boy back and she lied and told her boy friend that she was attacked by him and she would go to the police and will report it as sexual harassment.

This boy was never interested to go and see her for like 11 months but he was suffering from this stress each and every minute. This relationship had a very bad impact in whole his life that he he was not able to eat enough food and he hated females and never tried to associate with females. He was getting weak and weaker every day. He disconnected his phone; changed email and mailing addresses and traveled a way to another state and wanted to escape but never had the chance to do so.

He faced with mental problem and after 11 months the girl mails a letter in the old mailing address and the boy receives it through forwarding mails system and reads the mail that her girlfriend has stated in a letter that I am so sorry, I have given you hard time. I hope you forgive me. I love you and I want you. I am yours and want to be yours until the last breath of life. Please come back to me and I am so sorry that I lied to you. I lied to you to have you in my life and I want you to forget what ever I have told you. I want to convert to Islam because I love you and I want you to teach me about your religion and culture but the boy already was suffering from the stress of this relationship and was not mentally feeling good.

He rejected the girl and asked her not to contact or mail her some thing other wise she would face with serious court issues.  The boy traveled back to his country and married a beautiful girl whom he loves now and they both live happily.

Any way it is so important for the, head of the families and managers not to neglect but to save lives and find the causes of stress and problems of one employee who faces with problems in his/her life and try their best to mitigate, reduce and manage stress through control and management of stress by the related departments.